Saturday, February 18, 2012
Friday, June 17, 2011
Unexpected pain II
She sat in her favorite seat like every morning, staring outside wounding whether the sky is covered with clouds or dust. It is funny how the sky is almost always white, yes WHITE! Its blinding. This time she tried to focus harder and look outside the glass wall, but the result was the same, blindness. Her cheeks felt wet all of a sudden, she felt tears pour down them. She wiped them off, took a sip of her morning coffee and went up to her room, locked the door, took a deep breath and cried quietly. It is painful I am sure, I sympathize with her I really do. She had faith in god but she did not have faith in her body. You see this was not the first time such a thing happened. For a while she suffered form muscle weakness and then numbness. She was sick and she knew it.
She recalled all those tests and all those needles. Her skin was bruised, like a drug addict. She covered her arms hoping that no one would notice them and see how they looked like. Yet every time someone asked about her arms and why they are bruised so badly she would joke about it and tell them she would share her needles to the highest bidder. They did not know that those bruises where because of the blood tests and IV's that she was hooked too. she recalled the weeks she spent in the hospital where they did all sorts of tests on her, it was like a longer version of a House episode. The image of her being helpless and in need for help broke her heart. She needed a person to help her get dressed, cut food for her into pieces! She used to choke on every sip of water and every bite of food. She cried everytime. Yet again she joked about those tears she shed. She kept acknowledging that tears and chocolate are the best therapy a person could ever get. I believe that too, coming from a person who bottles up and builds walls. I fancy the way she thinks and the way she tries to find humor in her pain. A Greek play! When humor comes with pain, a smile comes with tears, joy comes with sorrow and it goes on. Opposites attract, physics makes sense now, who would believe that.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from STC
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Monday, April 04, 2011
Unexpected Pain I
She went to bed like she does every night after watching a movie or a couple of episodes till she feels sleep ticking her eyelids. She went to bed not knowing that the next day will not be the same. She got used to her routine, you see, the same things every single day with no excitement of whatsoever. She did not know that the next morning will be a beginning of pain and tears. She has been suffering form a constant headache that won't go even if she took some pills to relieve the pain or even her usual cup of coffee, non of that worked. She is a light sleeper and she constantly woke up during the night, that is why she is always tired and sleepy during the day. She went to bed like every single night praying to god that she will have a good night sleep and would wake up with no headache.
Like every night for the past two weeks, her sleep was uneasy, she woke up almost every hour. She checks the time and goes back to sleep, yet when it was the usual time for her to wake up, she did. She noticed something was different, besides the killer headache which she thought was due to her allergies and sinus. She woke up unable to see with her left eye, she was almost blind. Fear sank into her heart, she tried to breathe and convince herself that everything will be ok, it will wear off. She moved from bed with a heavy heart with thoughts rushing into head, they were all horrible! She washed up then went downstairs to the kitchen feeling blind, unable to see the steps that she has been walking for many years. Emotionally she was unstable with all those crazy hormones and the fact she could not see made her feel very depressed that she was not in the mood to make herself a morning treat. You know, sometimes she wakes up and feels like making french toast or pancakes, but that day was different. She brewed the coffee and had one slice of toast with nothing on top, just plain. I believe she felt uneasy about her situation, the busy mind has affected her appetite. Who would dare to eat with worries! It seems it is a habit of mankind, when depressed or feeling down, one either approaches food with a huge appetite to suppress those ugly feeling or the human loses it all together. It is hard to understand us as beings, we are quite unpredictable.