What made you think you'd have it your way?

I will go to the point no need for an introduction or what so ever. Some people pretend to be your friends and then when they are done with you they just ignore you completely. Why didn’t I see that coming? I’ve been through this a million times. Some people I know tend to hurt me, and I bet they are enjoying it *a very deep sigh*.

She kept on saying “you are my best friend, I’ve never felt so comfortable talking to anyone, it feels like I’ve known you for ages, I will never find anyone like you” and that kind of bullshit. You know that I’ve answered every single phone call because I knew when she calls she is going to talk about her beloved boyfriend and how he pisses her off or when he actually noticed her. I knew that she needed someone to talk to, whether it is about him or her other problems. She had someone to listen to her patently and not complain.

I don’t give advice to people, let me be more honest, I rarely give it because I don’t like to hear that things didn’t go well because they took it. But to her I gave her bitchy advices like “ignore him for a while and trust me if he really loves you he will run back to you apologizing” (trust me it worked). Once she called me crying and was like “I call him and he doesn’t answer, I send him sms’s and he doesn’t reply to them, I send him e-mails and he didn’t answer any of them and when he is online I talk to him and there is no replay”. After a week and a half he called her and he asked her why is she ignoring him “did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you in anyway?” and she told him what she thought and how she felt. But to come to realize it she is a pushy person. I mean no wonder he didn’t answer any of her calls, I bet he needed space and she didn’t give it to him.

Did you just use me to feel better, to help you in your relationship? Why didn’t you turn to your sister? Because she knows. I still remember when I called you and she was in the car with you. She kept on saying that you are pretending to be sick and that’s because (M) snapped at you.

Well I can’t stand you anymore, you are that type that you insist on something and you do it whether we like it or not (which takes us to you being a pushy person). You don’t give people their space, people need to breathe you know. You just forgot I existed because you found someone to turn to? Well I don’t care (some of you might say that writing this post means that I care, well you are all wrong. I’m using my blog to get it all out of my system to feel better).

I remember calling you awhile ago and telling you that you’ve changed and that you are not the (N) I know. But your answer was cold as ice “trust me no one will ever replace you”. This is the first time I realized that you were all lies and what the hell am I doing right now being angry. ENOUGH already!

I wish that you never call again and tell me that you miss me like hell and that I don’t call you “waink ya doba leesh matkalmeen, min jed za3lanah minik wla t7awleen ti3tathreen” God that pisses me off. I’ve had enough! I’m done being hurt all the time because I’m being such a good friend and such a nice person. I’ve always put this invisible wall not to let anyone cross it, but somehow you managed and I feel so sorry for myself. The thought of me believing you just hurts. This time I’m cut really deep and nothing could mend it. I wish I had the courage to tell you to get out of my life. I never had it and might never have it.

The thought of me believing that you cared for me kills me. Oh god I was a HONTONY BAKA (if you don’t know what that means it means I was really stupid). UGH! I could write for ever and not feel better. I bet that I’m boring my readers all because of you.

I’ve said this like a million times, but I just keep on forgetting it. I should write on my forehead “I’m not willing to trust people anymore”. I’ve got great friends and I don’t need anymore. I love them so much and I know they won’t hurt me because they are true friends. I’m trying to be as good to them as they are to me.

I’m really sorry dear readers for making this post unexpectedly long. I needed to get it all out of my system so please be kind and forgive me. God I must have sounded like a teenager or more like a girl that never stops complaining.

The track when I started the post was (By the way- Hinder).
Song of the moment: Broken- Seether ft. Amy lee.

*the title is from the song (by the way- Hinder)